oblivia719

Currently substitute teaching at the local Quaker school. On the computer reading about Svalbard (and posting on here) as the children read. I told them to grab a book since they finished math early. I worked out three times this weekend, 40 minutes of cardio each time and then some exercises on the machines. It made me feel temporarily better about my face. I wrote in my planner, "life is about choices!" I didn't think I'd be the kind of person who wrote quotes in her planner, but I am really trying to adopt that attitude and not just think, "oh, that's a nice thought" and then forget about it. I move on Friday and I am so excited!! And Curtis Sittenfeld's new short story book comes out tomorrow. I am rushing to finish Sing, Unburied, Sing (my last book I have to read for school for the year) by tomorrow so that I can buy it. But I have the idea that I want to actually READ it in my new bed on Friday. I hope delivery and the move goes swiftly. 

"One cry, and I stumble from bed, cow-heavy and floral
In my Victorian nightgown.
Your mouth opens clean as a cat's." 

I thought of the last line because I was re-reading How The Light Gets In by MJ Hyland and saw the line "clean as milk" in the first few pages. I worked today and am anxious because my boss says she won't give me off on Mother's Day weekend for me to go to my grandma's internment. Then I went to the gym and struggled through 40 minutes on the elliptical, and I came home and showered and am going to see I Feel Pretty alone and eat a small bag of popcorn. This weekend is more work, and then my last week of classes is next week, and then I MOVE apartments (I am so excited), but before that happens I have to finish 2 books for school. 

Today was less hellish than yesterday. Work was still difficult, though, and the computer broke down shortly after noon. Our town has something called the Azalea Festival this weekend, and part of the festival is a self-guided tour of gardens and homes downtown. Our restaurant happens to be downtown, so everyone wandered in on their way in and out of gardens. We had a wait of several parties, which never happens. 

After work I wandered over to one of the gardens myself. Two Azalea Belles -- local high schoolers who dress up as Southern belles -- were standing outside the house and in the garden. One had sunk down on the grass and her dress was spread all around her. I felt at peace looking at the flowers and crepe myrtle and carefully manicured hedges and the Azalea Belle sitting in the middle of it all.Then on my way back to my car I got a text from my boss that the computer was working again, and could I come cash out? So I did. Then I went to the gym, and then to the furniture store, where my mom (over the phone) bought me a bed to match my table and nightstand. Once I was home I realized I need a dresser, too. I am growing fond of my bookshelves and want to see if I can buy them from the owner of my current house. I went to the hibachi place to sit at the bar and eat a small portion of fried rice and edamame. 

At home I skimmed The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas, trying to keep up with my promise to do all of the reading for this semester. But this book made it SO hard; it is SO boring. I skimmed and forgave myself and told myself that reading against my will would be my OCD winning out. 

I've made a pact to work out 3-4x a week, cut down on carbs and not eat dessert, soda, or candy. I have this idea that if my body is fit, I'll worry less about my face -- and also that, once I go to McLean/get the filler for my dent, I will be at peace with both my face and my body, thanks to the filler/program and to losing weight.